“I don’t deserve to belong to this group” – Alexandra, 10 years old. Alexandra knew that her shyness and difficulty in participating in the group conversation, with a huge fear of saying something stupid, were responsible for always being excluded from the group of colleagues. But now everything could be different: she finally entered a different school and found herself in a class with new pupils, getting to know them again: she started to be part of a group of girls. But her difficulties interacting, the fear that others would always be thinking “bad things” about her and the great concern of being rejected again, dominated her thoughts to such an extent that she considered she was not good enough to belong to that group. What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is a concept that is associated with the value that each person attributes to themselves . In children, it can be said that it is reflected in their ability to believe in themselves and their abilities to achieve goals, make decisions and overcome challenges. Therefore, self-esteem has a significant impact on different areas of any child's life: From a personal point of view, the way a child knows and appreciate herself, with all qualities and defects, determines her attitude towards new challenges; On a social level, the way she feels recognized and accepted by others determines the quality of social interactions; At family level, the way she is welcomed and admired by her family influences the feeling of self-confidence and self-satisfaction; At school and, later, professional level, the sense of responsibility, self-efficacy and self-initiative influence how successful she will be in decision-making and problem-solving. Promoting a happy and healthy life A robust and consolidated self-esteem is strongly associated with high levels of: Happiness; Psychological resilience; Motivation to live a productive and healthy life. Self-esteem begins to develop in the first years of life and the role of caregivers is irreplaceable . The first information a child has about her worth is received from caregivers. Later, this information will also be received through interactions with other people. So, keep an eye on your child and on signs such as : Excessive need for approval; Perfectionism; Avoid problems; Excessive worry or anxiety; Dependence; Isolation; Difficulty making decisions. …and know how to promote your child’s self-esteem: Praise… a lot and correctly; Validate and promote the verbalization of emotions; Be a model in the appropriate way to express emotions; Encourage autonomy by assigning responsibilities; Encourage decision making; Avoid comparisons. No one is better or worse than anyone else. We are all different! Encourage independence, avoid overprotection; Value the effort and not the results. And, of course, all this also applies to parents and other adults! Author: Yennyfer Katerine Martins Meet the psychology clinical team from Hospital da Luz network. The content published in the Health Guide is intended for the general public and is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It does not replace individual medical assessment, diagnosis, or personalized clinical advice from a qualified healthcare professional. The content is produced or reviewed by physicians and other healthcare professionals at Hospital da Luz and is based on the knowledge available at the time of publication or the most recent update, as indicated at the beginning of each item.
