In recent years, I have witnessed in my office a phenomenon that worries and saddens me: children who come to me, bringing with them a confession that carries the weight of the world. They say, with a trembling voice and a heavy heart, that their sadness seems to go unnoticed in the eyes of their parents. Since when did a child's sadness is invisible to the eyes of the parents? Our society increasingly demands more. It demands productivity, perfection and results. For adults, this translates into long workdays, endless to-do lists, and the weight of crushing expectations. For children, this demand comes masked in unrealistic academic goals, overcrowded schedules, and constant pressure to become “the best.” In the midst of all this, parents, exhausted or simply worn out, unintentionally lose the ability to truly look at their children. For a child, this indifference felt translates into an emotional void that undermines their self-esteem and weakens their inner world. Without the validation and comfort of those who should support children the most, they begin to doubt their worth, place in the world, and often even the love they deserve to receive. The sadness that no one sees then turns into a silent pain that can manifest itself through symptoms such as isolation, difficulty expressing emotions, sleeping and eating problems and even other physical symptoms. It's easy to understand why. Fatigue erases sensitivity, and the focus on results – on grades, certificates, achievements – steals the attention that should be on effort, the process and, above all, on emotional well-being. So, a child struggling to achieve unattainable grades may feel lost in a sea of frustration, with no one to see or listen. And the pressure to meet expectations that go beyond what is reasonable turns childhood into a training ground for a professional future that is still far away. The consequences of this emotional detachment are not limited to childhood. A child who grows up with the feeling that his sorrows are indifferent or that his worth depends only on tangible achievements, carries deep scars. In adolescence, these marks manifest themselves in difficulties in building a solid identity, in greater vulnerability to emotional crises and, often, in risky behavior or isolation. It is important to remember: Childhood is not to think about or to shape the successful engineer, doctor or lawyer that the child will become. There is enough time for that. Childhood is the time to learn to be a child, to play, explore, make mistakes and discover the world. Adolescence, in turn, is the phase of building an identity, testing limits, gaining autonomy and learning to make decisions, always with the necessary emotional support so that this path is taken safely and balanced. It is important not to rush the future at the expense of the present! Being a good parent, in the challenging context of modernity, does not mean being perfect or having all the answers. It means, above all, being present. Attentive parents are those who listen more than they speak, who value efforts as much as results and who clearly demonstrate that love does not depend on grades or trophies. Know how to promote healthy emotional development. Listen carefully: Set aside time to listen to your children without rushing or distractions. Sometimes what they need is not solutions, but someone who understands them. Value the process: Encourage effort, celebrate small achievements and show that making mistakes is part of growing up. Show empathy: Validate your child’s feelings, even when they seem insignificant in the eyes of an adult. A child's sadness, no matter how small it may seem, is always great for him. Create moments of connection: Play, talk, share. Show, with the simplest gestures, that you are present and available. Balance expectations: Help your children set realistic, age-appropriate goals, valuing a balance between effort, play and rest. Ultimately, childhood is the fertile ground where the seeds of a healthy emotional life are planted. As parents, we have the responsibility – and the privilege – to tend this land with care and love, so that our children can grow with strong roots and wings ready to fly. Therefore, we must never forget that the attention of a father or mother can be the light that lights a child's course. Author : Yennyfer Katerine Martins Meet the psychology clinical team from Hospital da Luz network. The content published in the Health Guide is intended for the general public and is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It does not replace individual medical assessment, diagnosis, or personalized clinical advice from a qualified healthcare professional. The content is produced or reviewed by physicians and other healthcare professionals at Hospital da Luz and is based on the knowledge available at the time of publication or the most recent update, as indicated at the beginning of each item.
